Cake or Death

atfirstlight @ 2005-05-16T16:20:00

2005-05-16T22:58:51Z

I finished the last of my MYTH books today. Why did I wait so long? I don't know. The last one was rather boring, in a disappointing sort of way. But sitting there doing nothing all night is even more boring, so I finished it.

I'm worried. Kami got us into a bit of a mess with all his "socializing" and whatnot. Apparently, this is reflecting badly on me, as if I had some sort of control over his actions. Do you think I appreciated him spiking the coffee? I've actully very specifically told him that there is not drinking alowed. I do not want that kind of junk in the body, especially when everyine else bails out when it starts getting sick and I'm left to deal with whatever they've done. Not to mention I'd rather keep the illegal ninja moves down to a minimum.

What I'm trying to say is that I really don't have much control over them. I can tell them my opinions on whther or not I think they should do something, but in the end they do what they want to. Kami an be especially hard to deal with because as soon as he starts feeling caged in, he starts breaking every rule we have, even if he agreed to it or thought of it. Not that I don't love the boy, but he's a headache. Tempest is at least a little more appreciative of other people's lives. Though he has been acting weird lately.

I don't want to deal with this. I don't like always being expected to work miracles in order to fix everything. It's just not very much fun.

I used to think it was silly or corny to wear nametags or have various devices showing who is who, but now that it's more than just me and Linc, it seems like a good idea. I mean, I never really realized everyone would have so much trouble telling us apart. I see lots of differences. Maybe it;s harder to tell me from Tempest because we're both rather quiet, but there's a LOT of diffrences. There's more differences with Kami, but I think hes established himself pretty well by now.

I'm hungry now. I want sushi because there are so many places here to get it, but I haven't been to one yet. I'll be here for the rest of the week, probably. The only problem is that I'm working 3-11 all week, except for Thursday and today. Saturday and Sunday are Audit days. I half expect Tasha to ask me to work tonight and Thursday night, and if she does ask I'll probably do it because I feel sorry for her because she's pregnant. -.-; Plus I could use the extra monies. I don't want to work myself into oblivion but I feel obligated to. ;_;

UPDATEZ

2005-05-06T23:59:39Z

LJ Wall! Yay! *loves Kat's projector*

New people: M journal is pretty much friends =only but I'll add you if you're not Nicole. XD;

Hm. Let's see. I haven't been on in ages because my computer is broken. ;_; I miss Taylor so much. He was a good laptop. But I think it might be time to move on... Maybe get a new computer. Poor Kami is ready to cry over that idea, since he had so much astrology work on Taylor and it's getting lost. His daughter's birthdate and time will be lost, too. That makes me sad. But Taylor doesn't even have wireless capabilities, so it's practically not even worth it... Okay, I'm making myself cry now. I don't want him to die. ;_;

I just feel totally out of the loop right now. Not that I wasn't expecting that.

Since Lori already went through all her headmates, I guess I might as well go through mine. There are links to all of their journals in my userinfo. Let's start at the beginning.

Alex was first. His name is riikun It's kind of a dead journal. Without Alex, I never would have met Kat and wouldn't be here right now (as in alive), so love him. He's my twin brother, too. Right now he works a lot and goes to college and does all this other stuff. He doesn't even talk to me anymore, really. *sighs* I'm totally drowning in self pity right now. When he does show up, he'll probably be fronted with Will, since they are all married or whatever now.

Of course right after Alex came Kami. paperandhairgod. Kami is... um, totally cute. ^_^ He's my lion-love. XD He'll flirt and cuddle with anyone (pulse optional) and he loves people and he's omgsohyper. Okay, not all the tim. He pretty much always needs to be in the center of attention. Usually he fronts with Luc, because they're a couple and he likes being around at least one person he can hang on and kiss a lot, but depending on other things he might be fronted with Ikeru on occasion. That's because those two like things like clubs and people. XD; There's a little bit of tension between them sometimes but I think they've pretty much gotten over a lot of their... um, whatever you call it. The stuff where they don't like each other. Kami deserves pages and pages of text but I'm going to refer you to his journal. He really really really really really needs people around or else he starts freaking out. Sometimes when he has no comments in his journal, he goes nuts. Seriously, I'm pretty sure he's a total psycho but I'm just not sure what exactly is wrong. He's noramally okay as long as he's sure everyone still likes and loves him, though.

Tempest is pretty much the baby of the family. imaginedlight. He's amazingly sensitive and quiet and sweet and if you're hurt he'll start to cry in sympathy. Adorable to a fault. He gets walked all over all the time and taken advantage of, but he doesn't care because he tells himself it's for the other person's good. He hardly ever lives in the real world and is spacey like no tomorrow and I can't watch the news at all because he just starts crying and crying over all the sad and bad stuff going on. Ask him for the story of the motorcycle crash and the evil policeman sometime, or the story of Amazing Grace the puppy. It makes him cry but he kind of likes talking about it all so that everyone else will be as moved as he is to keep bad things from happening in the world. Seriously, he's a good person, but over-the-top naive. He's usually fronted with Ikeru, because they're friends (And not a couple XD;) and Ikeru actually seems to give him the respect and understanding he so craves. But when he's been fronted with Ikeru for a day, he starts getting a little... hyper, maybe? Something like it.

And that's my little family. If you have any sort of questions or anything, ask me or them. We all like talking about ourselves. Especially Kami. Ask him about his daughter, I dare you. He just loves the little munchkin so much. ^_^

Speaking of Kami, he's going to be around today and definitely whenever he can spend a whole night at a party or a club or something. He might get a little bit quiet if he doesn't know you, but mostly because he's trying to figure out your personality and stuff (and probably your sign, too, cuz he's obsessed with astrology), not because he's shy.

I feel a bit better now. Luc and Kami are a-goin' to the mall and Wal-Mart soon. Bye-bye.

atfirstlight @ 2005-04-02T05:31:00

2005-04-02T10:36:34Z

I think I'm getting another cold from walking in the woods with Caitlin.

OMG. It was so cool. ^_^ We went way farther out than we've ever gone. It was a warmish day and we were both bundlked up pretty nicely still. Good thing because we got so THORN'D out there it wasn't funny. Okay, actually, we were both cracking up when about five dead and loose throny vines decided I was their new Mama and attached themselves to my coat and jeans. They weren't growing on anything so no matter what I did they stayed stuck... Caitlin had to get me loose.

Anyway, we were walking down the river, past the Graveyard and the neighbor's house (our neighborhood is only three houses big, there's us, the rednecks across the street, and some old people with a million grandkids who visit sometimes next door) and cutting through their feild. It had just rained, so everything was muddy and we had to jump over a million tiny streams... it was fun. ^_^ Then we started freaking out because we saw this dark shape that kind of looked like someone hanging from a tree (Whenever we go through the woods we see at least one shape that looks like someone hanging from a tree, the last time it was a blanket that looked like a little girl.... ubercreepy) but it turned out to be just a clump of weirdly-shaped trees. So were were walking and talking about lame people who cut for attention or to fit in and our own experiences with cutting (my year-long addiction to it and her friends who do or used to do it) and then she goes, "Whoa, what's THAT? *point*" There was this little shack, just sitting there for no apparent reason. Well, it looked more like the corner of a house which had been knocked down, and maybe the little corner was all that was left standing.

We got a little closer to it. I was freaking because I thought it might be haunted. I was all, "Waa, no! Ghosts are gonna kill us!" and Caitlin was all "This is so ORGLY! Let's explore!" (don't ask XD) So we got closer and she got REAL close (I was too scared, heh) and she was telling me "There' all this stuff in there. There's a bunch of little chairs and a table. Is that a basement?" And I was like, "Girl, you can go in the basement. BUT I AM NOT FOLLOWING YOU." Basements are another of my irrational fears. Well, some basements. Everyone knows that dark, damp places that no one ever goes in are breeding grounds for monsters and ghosts. (No, I don't sleep with my light off, why do you ask?)

So it turns out the little shack we saw first wasn't a shack, it was on outhouse. It even still had a roll of dirty, old toilet paper in it. The real shack/cabin thingy was half demolished, but it still had a bunch of junk in it. There was an old stove, a bed frame some chairs that I had to restrain Caitlin from getting due to REAL danger (I was afraid if she climbed in there she would fall through the floor or something), a sink, and about four of these big metal umbrella-shaped things that we couldn't figure out what were for. They had inscriptions on them, something about poultry equipment and the names Hudson and Hart. So, yeah, that was cool. We went down closer to the river (we could see it from the cabin) and we found some more stuff. The remains of a row boat that looked like it had been covered deliberately with brush and would have been invisible in greener months, and what appeared to be a picnic table, smashed by a fallen tree. We also saw a fire pit with a metal grill-like cover thingy tossed beside it. There were fences made from metal posts and barbed wire everywhere that Mother Nature had worked on destroying for us for who knows how long.

We figured from the style of the stove and bed and the light fixture, plus what little docr remained (some curtains in the cabin and the wallpaper in the outhouse) that it looked like it was there for at least 50 years. I think it was a camping site because of the boat and firepit and stuff... but we don't know what was up with the poultry umbrellas, or why so much stuff was left in there, or why it was even built or abandoned in the first place. Despite the destruction of what appeared to be at least half the cabin, there weren't any chunks of wall or anything on the ground... maybe it was destroyed so long ago that the debris had been all grown over and stuff. Also, if it was a campsite a long time ago, why weren't there any more cabins or anything? I don't know if I'm motivated enough to look it up. I'm sure if I googled the town name, I could find something about it... or maybe at the library, I don't know. It would take a while and I'm phenomenally lazy. -.-;

We decided to tell everyone about what we found but not where we found it, because every time we find something cool (like the old treehouse we found before I moved to Maine), David and Dylan just HAVE to go out and see it. And they are idiot boys who would climb in and sit in the chairs and disturb things and steal stuff... so they suck. They keep disappearing out into the woods for long amounts of time, trying to find the cabin. I hope they never find it because they would ruin it. And I hope the ghosts get them if they do. Yesterday when they came in they were trying to be all cool and enigmatic in a stupid crazy way but they were just being lame. "Oh, we went out ion the woods and found a golden ticket!" "Oh no, we forgot to grab the golden ticket!" Idiotic. I'll be happy when they're dead. I've been out in the woods with them, I know the sort of things they do. Or rather, Lexy-kun does. David almost hit his face with a beer bottle trying to break it once, and he almost fell through the ice into the river about ten times in one day (um, he has more about that in his journal... somewhere).

Right. So that's my big adventure of the week. I'm so hypergiddy lately. I don't know why. Excitement and nerves, I guess. I need to find real packing tape though cuz duct tape DOES NOT HOLD CARDBOARD BOXES CLOSED WELL. >_<; Everyone says duct tape is good for everything.... liars...

So.... today shall be spent with me finding real packing tape (hopefully.... but if I can't, I can just use the duct tape and when I get to Maine we can get some good tape for Wal-Mart on Monday and fix the boxes, no big deal) and then re-packing all my stuff, most of which was never really unpacked so that means going through boxes, deciding what unimportant enough to send ahead, and marking them off as Cutlery so I can tell later. I'm using a Weakerthans code because I'm cool. I took the line "Cutlery and Coffee Cups I stole from all-night resturaunts" from the song "Everything Must Go!" and writing Cutlery on send-ahead boxes and Coffee Cups on keep boxes. Or maybe I could write Cutlery and Coffee Cups on the send-ahead ones and A Phone Call From Far Away on the goes-with-us ones... hmmmm...

Augh, my throat hurts so bad. ;_; I'm probably getting a cold from walking in the woods, but it was warm. Really. The whole river is thawed now. I just wish there was green stuff out. The apple tree out back does seem to be getting buds on it, and all through the woods we saw strange-looking leafy little plants growing. They looked like bulb-type plants. Spring is so late this year. ;_; But sometimes up here it does snow in April. I'm so glad we're going to a deserty place.

As Li'l Cactus said: "The desert, the desert, the home of my soul! I like desserts, too, but I can't live in a dessert."

atfirstlight @ 2005-03-08T04:01:00

2005-03-08T09:04:51Z

1. When you have a new idea for a story, do you begin to write it immediately or do you let it sit and mellow a while before you start on it?
Mellow.

2. Word processed or handwritten?
Word processed if possible.

3. Do you write fic in a fandom because you're wanting to write fic in that fandom? Or do you start with a general theme or idea you want to explore, and then select the characters and fandom that best suits to explore the concept?
Usually I get an idea for the fandom and go from there.

4. Do you talk about the story as it unfolds, or do you keep it tightly held to your chest until it's finished?
I try to keep it, but sometimes I babble.

5. Do you write out large chunks of the story and then go back to edit it, or do you write small sections and polish them one by one?
Large chunks til it's done, then go back and edit a few days later.

6. Do you have to have a title before you can begin to write? Or do you chose your title afterwards?
I don't like naming stories because it's hard, so usually I wait until after it's done.

7. How much research, if any, are you likely to indulge in before beginning a story?
It depends on how much I already know and how much I need to know. But usually I'm lazy and don't research until I edit.

8. What is your writing strength, and what is your weakness? How does knowing your greatest strength and weakness affect how you plan your story/ the direction the story takes?
Myu greatest strength is my characters, my greatest weakness is my inability to use proper grammar/spelling/punctuation on occasion.

9. Do you write to music? If so, how much does the music you are listening to affect the mood of your story?
Sometimes I do, usually I don't. I feel like it kind of ruins it.

10. Do you try to incorporate quotes, snippets of song lyrics, poems, etc. at the beginning of your story? If so, why? How do you choose them?
No.

11. If you are about to write a story about a character or pairing that you have never done before, and are not particularly familiar with other stories written in the same vein, would you avoid stories written about this pairing until your story was complete, or read everything you could find to see how other handled the idea?
Start off completely on my own, unless it's a character or pairing I've already read a lot about.

12. Do you have a muse? Is it an evil muse? Or are you museless?
Um... Taylan and Vincent used to be my "muses" but not anymore. I don't really have or need one.

13. Who is the first person you are likely to show your story to? Is there someone whose opinion means more to you than anyone else?
Linc.

14. If there is a character that you particularly dislike, do you try to write a story about that character? If so, how does your dislike affect characterization? Do your feelings about the character change after you have written about them?
I don't usually do that, actually.

15. What are you doing answering this not-survey when you should be writing fic!? Shoo!
I don't actually write that much fan fiction anymore.

atfirstlight @ 2005-03-06T08:12:00

2005-03-06T13:16:01Z

destroyallcomms. Now.

atfirstlight @ 2005-03-06T07:23:00

2005-03-06T12:27:08Z

My mom keeps saying she needs to find a parking lot for me to drive in. and stuff like, "When we go to Texas, I want you to bring your camera so we can tape the baby..." I have no idea what to tell her. ;_; I don't even know my own future right now, I'm so relient on others.

Blah, blah, blah.... I was going to make some astrology icons, but I can't do anything without my laptop. Once again, relient on others! My mom said she wants to buy me a new powercord before we go to Texas, I haven't even told her about Lori buying me one yet...

I went out and bought myself a new CD player that has spiffy written all over it, hooray! I also got a new CD... The deluxe edition on Bat Out of Hell 2. I would have settled for the regular one, but that was all they had, so I got it. I ended up spending over 80 dollars... That's pretty bad, but I'm going crazy over here. Every time they play that commercial that has I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That) in it, I start missing my Taylor. ;_; Poor little lappy top...

This idiot guy has been hanging around Kami's journal. He's really annoying and kinda dumb. I mean. He means well. But I really don't like him. I guess Kami is his own person, though, he can make his own deision about what idiots he wants to hang out with...

I love people with MPD/DID more than soulbonders because soulbonders are idiots. -.-; Probably nothing can redeem my love for soulbonders. They're dead to me. I probably lean way more toward MPD/DID than soulbonding, anyway. I certainly don't have very much control over it, nor do I wish to. Just everything I read there... it works better for me. A recent post came up that may explain the headaches I've suffered from ever since Alex came about.

There is the purposeful creative thing... and it's true, some of mine I did create. But even that can be objective. Take Alex for example. I didn't create him. He's not a character nor was he ever. I've always regarded him as a person, as real as I am. Kami? Came to me out of the blue. Once again, I do not control him, and he is very real to me. He did start out as a character, but he's not much like the character I wrote about so long ago. Tempest? Okay, I did purpsefully try and draw him out more, but again it could very well just be someone who resembles the character. I had snippets from Character Tempest in my previous post, and this Tempest acts almost nothing like that.... plus, I do not control him. Not directly, anyway, if I ask or tell him to do something, he'll usually do it because he's so passive.

Then there are others who are lesser, people I control more, are characters in stories I wrote, and might be more like soulbonds than personalities: Taylan, Katarin, Vincent... Maybe I'm just sick of soulbonders and don't want to be classified as one. I certainly respect people with MPD/DID a whole lot more. The problem is, everything is objective... I can pass this off as either one if I want to... I haven't been diagnosed by a professional, but neither have many of the people in that community. And, of course, there have been cases where people have been diagnosed as having MPD/DID by professionals, and they were faking it. So if I did want that diagnosis badly enough, I could get it.

What it eventually comes down to is what I believe. If I believe I have MPD/DID, it will be so because I can fool pretty much anyone. If I just want to be a soulbonder, I can be one. If I want everyone of them to go away... well, I'm not so sure I could do that. I might be able to block everyone out for a day or two, but sooner or later at least Kami would come screaming back.

The thing that's really making me think about this is the only person I know who has anywhere near the amount of passiveness/tolerance for soulbonds is Lori. And she's even a lot more strict about it than I am. I don't think I've ever spoken through any of my boys the way she has, and we both know I allow mine a whole lot more freedom than she does. There are so many other factors, the way Alex came around when I was in the middle of a meltdown and he probably saved my life by forcing me out of my own body so he could get me fed and stuff... The way Kami came to me during another low point in my life, when I desperately needed someone who would make me smile... the way Tempest began to show up more during this away-time form Lori, just when I need some quiet companionship... maybe it's my own mind creating people I need when I need them, without me really noticing until I look back how much I needed that specific person. I've thought of this in just about every way possible, and it's left me feeling somewhat enlightened and somewhat confused.

I give up for now. The phone is ringing and there's no way I'll get to it in time, so I'm not even going to try. Probably just one of David's friends, anyway.

atfirstlight @ 2005-02-24T05:39:00

2005-02-24T10:39:17Z

The crowds didn't let up in here, but he just sighed and let himself browse around. He paused a shelf that only a few people seemed to be interested in, above which hung a sign that said, "Graphic Novels."
He picked one up at random, one with a long, strange title he forgot almost immediately. He flipped through it. It had very pretty, nice art and seemed to be about two boys who fell in love with each other in a dramatic, unrealistic way. One of the boys confessed is love in a flurry of bubbles and four-pointed stars, then the other one began to cry and ran away.
Rain shook his head and put it back. He chose another one, this one much thicker and simply named "Super Fighter Raider," and opened it to the middle. This one's art was a lot simpler and less pretty, but it was okay. There seemed to be two men, one with a sword and the other unarmed, engaged in a duel to the death. The guy with the sword yelled and charged the other man, who took the sword blade-on with his now glowing fist, uneffected.
Rain rolled his eyes and set it down. This was silly, Slash would just laugh if he got him one.

I wrote that way back in 2001. Manga-bashing is fun, even when your writing a manga parody thing. XD

Um, after this, Shana runs into him and decides to "help" find a gift for her~~self~~ brother. And then Tempest shows up.

"Hi, Brother! Last-minute Christmas shopping?" Rain asked, smiling. He was glad for the distraction from Shana.
"Christmas? You mean it's already December?" Tempest asked, his eyes wide.
Shana sighed. "Yes, duh... Christmas is in one week."
"Oh, no! I don't have enough money to get everyone something, and I don't get paid until two weeks from now."
"You mean you blew all your money just before Christmas?!" Shana asked.
"No, it's just that I lost my wallet, and then my credit card bills went way up! I don't know why, it was in my wallet when I lost it so I didn't buy anything, but I had to spend all my savings except ten dollars to pay off the debt."
"You mean you lost your credit card and you didn't cancel it? Man, you are so dense, Tempest!" Shana rolled her eyes.
"What? You can cancel your credit card? Wow! I didn't know that!"
At this point in the conversation, Shana was so upset that she simply slapped her forehead and groaned in reply.
"Don't worry about it, Tempest. I'll help you with that later. Right now I'm looking for a birthday present for Slash. Do you want to help?" Rain asked gently.
"Okay... but.. what am I going to do about presents? Oh, I'm so stupid..." Tempest looked about to cry.
"Stop being so hard on yourself, it's a common mistake." Rain lied.

Tempest, I love you. ^_^

Tempest is the best character in that story. But Shade is the second best.

Shana stopped and gasped at the collection of RPGs. "Wow... look at this! Final Fantasy XII! This is a classic!"
Tempest stared with her. "What's an arpejie?"
Rain ignored them and found what he wanted. He grabbed it. The last one. He grinned and went to stand in line.
After what seemed to be hours, it was finally Rain's turn. He handed the game to the cashier.
"Will that be all today?"
"Yes, just this, please."
"That'll be thirty-two thirty-one." The cashier said.
"Wait!" Someone yelled.
Rain turned to the sound of the voice. "Shade! What are you up to now?"
"I'll pay twice that! I need it so my mother won't die!" The boy clad in black cried.
"What does a video game have to do with your mother dying?" Rain demanded.
"Fool! I'm the true main character!" Shade yelled. "I'll pay sixty-four dollars and sixty-two cents for that game!"
"No! You're not going to ruin Slash's birthday! I'll pay a hundred dollars!" Rain declared.
"FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS!" Shade screamed.
"You're crazy!" Rain said.
Just then, Mall Security came and dragged Shade away.
"Noooooooo!" Shade cried. He shook his fist at the heavens. "Curse you, Rivvi! Curse you!" A giant keyboard fell from the sky and rendered Shade unconcious before disappearing.

Um, I'm not weird. ^_^; That was all from 3-4 years ago. My writing style has changed a bit.

atfirstlight @ 2005-02-23T07:00:00

2005-02-23T12:00:06Z

This is Zachary. He only wears white. At first it was only going to be a few days to represent his turning from Satanism to Christianity because he felt like is hould be shown outwardly in some way, but now it's kind of become a thing for him. He's plagued by demons. His story is so dramatic, but it's supposed to be that way, I promise. XP

This is Jess. She's Zachary's only friend. He has a mad crush on her. She's always been there for him. She's this wonderful artist and stuff... yeah, not too interesting. The purple eyes are fake.

Emily. She looks a little scene. She's Kami's daughter. She's so cute. ^_^

Kaya, the british loud-mouthed quick-tempered bassist for Shinikami.

And here is Trey, Shinikami's newest addition. He plays guitar as good as Kami does, if not better. And Kami is a genius at guitar. Trey says, "I would change my last name to cool, but that's already been done." I imagine Kami steals that hat quite often.

Here's Katarin. I feel like this isn't quite good enough to be called Katarin, but oh well. She looks young, but she's at least a thousand years old at this point.

This is Heather. Face of an angel, mind of a devil, heh. No, blond isn't her natural color. She's the oldest of Katarin's children.

Richard is so cute. He's the second oldest of Katarin's children, and her favorite. He's actually teaches Latin, and I do mean Latin.

Grace, Rab version. She told everyone Emily was going to Hell when they were little. I noticed they have the same eyes way after I made them, though. XD; She's one of the younger of Katarin's children.

Grace, Mace version. She looks a lot more scene than Emily. I love her shoes.

Here is Vanessa, who is even younger than Grace. She's this artist who will probably have her sculptures and paintings put in museums one day. She would probably only wear something like this when her parents are taking her somewhere that requires dressing up.

Here is Slash. He's so cool, in his own special, perverted kinda way. Those fangs are not real, it's just his perverted look. Slash is a video game addict and can't hold a job. He basically relies on Rain to take care of him, and Rain happily obliges. Those two are all over each other like gays on fags. XD;

This is Shana, Slash's younger sister. She has some kind of psychic sense of smell and is convinced that Rain loves her. She's severely annoying and probably ought to be killed. But Rain wouldn't let that happen because Slash would be devastated. Shana can't stand Tempest because he's so spacey all the time, but she puts up with him and follows/drags him around because she wants to get closer to Rain. No, she doesn't realize that Rain is her brother's gay lover.

Here is Tempest in all his glory. He's been known to forget little things like where he lives every now and then, and should probably be on some sort of medication. He wears sandals with everything all year round. It doesn't matter if there's ten feet of snow outside. Yeah, he'll probably get frostbite one of these days, but hey, he lives in his own dream world anyway and probably won't care. This boy really needs a patient, stable person to take care of him, but most people besides Rain just use him. Let's face it, someone this forgetful and compliant just begs to be used.

This is Rain, Tempest's younger (yes, younger) brother. Okay, so it's Rain in Slash-vision. He doesn't really quite look like that. He should have longer hair, but they didn't have long white hair. I also doubt he wanders around shirtless. At least in public, anyway. He's the coolest person in the story, and probably the only sane one. He teaches martial arts.

atfirstlight @ 2005-02-21T10:54:00

2005-02-21T15:54:09Z

Kami. He really wants an outfit like that now. The shirt was just about perfect. Of course, this is post-cancer Kami... it just is. It sort of just ended up that way. ^_^; But it's cool. I had to edit his eyes so they looked softer, though.

Amy Lee, Going Under version. Not exactly right, but the best I could do with the choices I was given. I had to erase the feathers the skirt came with, and the nails the top came with. Long red fingernails would be okay, but it only put them on one hand. When I saw that hair, though, I had to make it.

Two very red dolls.

atfirstlight @ 2005-02-20T03:09:00

2005-02-20T08:09:34Z

http://www.livejournal.com/community/marysues/1746837.html
http://www.livejournal.com/community/marysues/1741495.html

For Lori, those are the links the THE MARY SUE DRAMA!!! I don't think either of them are friends only, but id they are all you have to do is temporarily joind the community. All the new posts are going to be friends-only because of this, though.

atfirstlight @ 2005-02-19T06:15:00

2005-02-19T11:15:27Z

*un-friends-only-ifies journal* Why? I don't know. I just feel like it.

So a few days ago, my mom got a cell phone bill for like a thousand dollars for the past two months. That really sucks because it's not my fault, it's my brother's, but I'm the one who has to suffer for it. My mom isn't going to have enough money to pay for my wisdom teeth being removed, which means I have two options. The first is that I can pay for it, and my mom will probably insist on paying me back. The second is that I can wait for who knows how long to ge it done at a later date.

How can I put this? I want my wisdom teeth out as soon as possible because I need to get even MORE dental work done that will have to wait for that. My root canal tooth that needs the crown is slowly chipping away. At this rate, I may end up losing it and I didn't go through all that pain over it for nothing. Plus, there is no way I'm leaving this house until the rest of my dental work is done. But, on the other hand, I'm trying VERY VERY hard not to spend my money. My mom already owes me $200.00, and I only have $1,000 left in savings. I'm not getting a job because my mom is convinced I'm going on that family trip in April with them and ARGH. I don't know what to do. I hate teeth.

If oly my brother's friends were so needy. They should all go kill themselves like they probably want to. They've probably all been raped, are "ana", cut, and threaten to kill themselves on a regular basis for attention. Grar. *bites someone out of pure frustration*

... Maybe teeth aren't so bad after all.

atfirstlight @ 2005-01-24T09:03:00

2005-01-24T14:03:10Z

Bad hair day.

atfirstlight @ 2005-01-24T03:24:00

2005-01-24T08:24:05Z

Yes, so after years of writer' block when it comes to a certain story that I had basically put out of my head, I got an idea. My idea? He saves her life. It's perfect! And then, of course, fame is thrown upon his cynical little unsocial head.

Mwahahahaha! It's good now. ^_^ I just have to write it. I only wrote less than one page, but I had this other idea and then this less-than-a-page had a purpose. Yum, purpose.

I'll have to change names, though. I don't really like the names I was using anymore.

atfirstlight @ 2004-12-16T00:37:00

2004-12-16T05:37:35Z

I've had with your crazy

hat.

Know my music?

2004-12-12T07:55:28Z

Let's play a game. I've posted the first ten words of every song on my current playlist. You have to try and figure out the name and artist of each song only going by the first ten words. Fo obvious reasons, I haven't posted any lyrics that give away the name of the song within the first ten words. If you don't know one of them, just say you don't know. I also didn't post any that are in foreign languages because I figured those would be too hard. Leave your answersin a comment. If you want, you can make this into a meme and post the same thing with instructions in your journal. I've also defriended this post so more than just three people can play, though I doubt aanyone but Lori will give it a whack. Guess away. ^_^

I know a girl she puts the color inside of
I walk a lonely road the only one that I
Do you have the time to listen to me whine
Where do bad folks go when they die don't go
I'm your only friend I'm not your only friend but
Sometimes I feel I've got to run away I've got
Catch me as I fall say you're here and it's
I'm just a middle-aged middle eastern camel herdin' man
I've been looking in the mirror for so long that
I hold my breath as this life starts to take
Mr. Horrible, Mr. Horrible, telephone call for Mr. Horrible but
Take everything left we are to blame how can we
Please, please forgive me, but I won't be home again
And you take me over over again and you take
These are not words, they're only feelings there are no
I thought the future held a perfect place for us
We passed upon the stair we spoke of was and
I took their smiles and I made them mine I
Now I will tell you what I've done for you
How many times have you told me you love her
You don't remember me but I remember you I lie
Take my photo off the wall if it just won't
I still recall the taste of your tears echoing
Oh, no here it is again I need to know
Staring at the sun no rays down on me I
She eyes me like a pisces when I am weak
My city's still breathing though barely it's true, through buildings

Jet - Look What You've Done

2004-11-21T07:06:30Z

Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing left for you to prove
Oh, look what you've done,
You've made a fool of everyone.
Oh, well it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won
Give me back my point of view
Cause I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say
What should I do
Well, you choose
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh, it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had one
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing
Left for you to do
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh, well it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone

atfirstlight @ 2004-11-18T01:10:00

2004-11-18T06:10:20Z

This journal is now friends-only. Comment to be added.

atfirstlight @ 2004-11-12T03:42:00

2004-11-12T08:42:35Z

*HUGS* TOTAL!
give Rivvi more *HUGS*

Get hugs of your own

Okay, everyone... give me hugs ;_; And no Kami hugs. *stern look*